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madam im adam
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how do i get a life Empty
PostSubject: how do i get a life   how do i get a life EmptyWed Nov 06, 2013 4:51 pm

or: how do i get invited to things
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madam im adam
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PostSubject: Re: how do i get a life   how do i get a life EmptyWed Nov 06, 2013 4:52 pm

im being serious but i don't expect many legitimate answers
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madam im adam
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PostSubject: Re: how do i get a life   how do i get a life EmptyWed Nov 06, 2013 4:52 pm

alternative question: how do i get numbers
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Super Smash Bros Crusade
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Super Smash Bros Crusade

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PostSubject: Re: how do i get a life   how do i get a life EmptyWed Nov 06, 2013 5:42 pm

assuming high school, generally clubs are a good way to start, become friends with people you get put into groups with for projects,

i got my first girlfriend by starting a roleplaying club that she ended up going to every week, and met my second at my first's birthday party before we started "going out"

uhhhh i dunno what else to say, the more people you know the easier it is to spread out, you could try leeching onto people you know until you have a larger web of people?

i usually get peoples' numbers because there's a reason we have to get in contact, like for group projects and stuff like that
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C_Mill24
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C_Mill24

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PostSubject: Re: how do i get a life   how do i get a life EmptyWed Nov 06, 2013 6:24 pm

Pick up lines Dolan
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Super Smash Bros Crusade
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Super Smash Bros Crusade

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PostSubject: Re: how do i get a life   how do i get a life EmptyWed Nov 06, 2013 7:05 pm

C_Mill24 wrote:
Pick up lines Dolan
i was going to make a "he's asking for legitimate advice" post but then i remembered this was in spam and he even admitted he didn't expect many legitimate answers

pickup lines don't actually work though and especially not in high school


unless they're fandom-related and you know for a fact the person is in the fandom in which case there's about a 5% chance of success
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C_Mill24
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C_Mill24

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  C-Mill24

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PostSubject: Re: how do i get a life   how do i get a life EmptyWed Nov 06, 2013 7:12 pm

DettaDocket Fee wrote:
C_Mill24 wrote:
Pick up lines Dolan
i was going to make a "he's asking for legitimate advice" post but then i remembered this was in spam and he even admitted he didn't expect many legitimate answers

pickup lines don't actually work though and especially not in high school


unless they're fandom-related and you know for a fact the person is in the fandom in which case there's about a 5% chance of success
Pick up lines never work because this isn't the 90s or early 2000s.
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Dry



  4607

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PostSubject: Re: how do i get a life   how do i get a life EmptyThu Nov 07, 2013 12:15 am

Well put C_Mill.

Generic, common interests. As Det said, clubs are the best way to find people with common interests. Basically, people you can talk to for fun.

Be confident too. I don't have the time to make a huge post going through the art of confidence, but if you would like it, just say so and maybe me or someone else can talk about it.

Main thing is not to treat people as a means to an end, but to treat people as an end in themselves. And if any philosophy majors out there want to comment on how Kantian that is, just remember that Kant's main fallacy is in his metaphysical premise, not in his actual ethical philosophy. Basically, don't "use" someone to get something (like a pastime, or sex, or something similar), make that someone the goal itself. Hanging around friends should give you enough fun that you don't need anything more from them.

And also, at your age, don't be afraid to be an introvert. The whole idea that "real" teens go out every night and partaaayyyy and get drunk until they vomit all over the police station is kinda a myth. If you're the type to be by yourself, embrace that. Use that time to invest in skills that will help you in later life. Maybe do some extra reading on whatever interests you.

I seem to recall you like the romance languages, so maybe get out some foreign poetry or literature. If you haven't read Don Quixote yet, definitely give that a go, since it should be pretty accessible to someone who's done Spanish a while and is a very defining work of the language. For French, you can find lots of good French poetry and plays, and there are particularly phenomenal comedies by Molière. In Italian, the most interesting piece of literature I can think of is Dante's Inferno, but if you're not philosophically inclined, Italian also has a wealth of good poetry. Portuguese and Romanian literature I'm not familiar with, so can't help you there unfortunately.

And obviously this is only one side of what you can do. If you've, say, always wanted to play the guitar or something, go out there and learn the guitar. If you want to go into competitive eating, I'm not here to judge, go for it.

tl;dr you don't need a life. Invest your time in skills and interests, and become a fulfilled and talented human being. THEN swim in pussy.
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Ganonthegreat

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PostSubject: Re: how do i get a life   how do i get a life EmptyThu Nov 07, 2013 1:35 am

Collect 100 Rings/Coins
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PostSubject: Re: how do i get a life   how do i get a life EmptyThu Nov 07, 2013 7:47 am

Dry wrote:
tl;dr you don't need a life. Invest your time in skills and interests, and become a fulfilled and talented human being. THEN swim in pussy.
Alternatively, pursue what you love while fuccin bishes on the side. Ain't nothing wrong with a healthy sex drive.
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madam im adam
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PostSubject: Re: how do i get a life   how do i get a life EmptyThu Nov 07, 2013 1:01 pm

lmao i love you guys
DettaDocket Fee wrote:
assuming high school, generally clubs are a good way to start, become friends with people you get put into groups with for projects,
i generally don't like taking part in clubs tho,, especially since there are none at my school that interest me and the people i wanna talk with more don't really participate in any

Quote :
i usually get peoples' numbers because there's a reason we have to get in contact, like for group projects and stuff like that
ye that's the thing, i wanna get people's numbers but i don't really have good reasoning aside from potential things like this!!

Dry wrote:
Hanging around friends should give you enough fun that you don't need anything more from them.
yeah and they do, which is basically why i want to get numbers and be invited to things and all that

Quote :
And also, at your age, don't be afraid to be an introvert. The whole idea that "real" teens go out every night and partaaayyyy and get drunk until they vomit all over the police station is kinda a myth. If you're the type to be by yourself, embrace that. Use that time to invest in skills that will help you in later life. Maybe do some extra reading on whatever interests you.
i'm aware that it's kind of a myth (although i've heard of people doing it, just not like all the time) but i mostly just want to be invited to things regardless of whether or not it's a party
and the thing is, im an introvert but also a people person which is a terrible combination

and regarding the language thing i kind of want to focus more on speaking it than reading it, albeit reading is a part of it too



basically what i think im trying to say is that i want to talk and do things with people out of school?? because i talk with people in school anyway but i haven't done things with anyone since february, and before that since like 4 years ago

thankies for input tho : )

Furry Heihachi wrote:
Collect 100 Rings/Coins
aha that was clever
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Dry



  4607

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PostSubject: Re: how do i get a life   how do i get a life EmptyFri Nov 08, 2013 3:35 am

In that case, it's likely to be a problem of confidence. Getting numbers and getting involved with your friends is mostly a matter of being confident enough to ask for it without being or sounding awkward about it. Unfortunately, it's no easy matter for us to help you get confident, since there are tons of different reasons why people would be unconfident, all of which would need different tricks to help get over.

In the easiest cases, though, I'd say that to be more confident, you have to simply act more confident. Try to think about the people who you see mostly as confident people, and who you respect the most because of that; not necessarily people who are faultless, and possibly even people who are disliked for some reason or other, but just people who you'd say are confident. Try to follow the pattern of their mannerisms. This doesn't mean copy them exactly, as that would be weird, but just to figure out what it is about the mannerisms that make them seem confident, and make your own version from that. It sounds strange that you can "manufacture" confidence, but for some people it's very much possible. Also, don't change your personality overnight or something, that would just weird out your friends. Be gradual about this, if you're going down this route.

Me personally, I used to be incredibly shy, and hated being in a crowd while secretly yearning to be a part of them. I only got over it thanks to external help, and unfortunately in this case you just have to be lucky about who you meet and get to know. One of my best friends knows exactly how to compliment, what to compliment and when to compliment, and I pretty much owe all of my present confidence to her; she managed to convince me to be confident. It's rare to meet someone with those sort of people skills though.
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PostSubject: Re: how do i get a life   how do i get a life EmptyFri Nov 08, 2013 4:18 am

madam im adam wrote:
ye that's the thing, i wanna get people's numbers but i don't really have good reasoning aside from potential things like this!!
Just say you got a new phone or something.

Assuming you're cool with them, they'll probably ask you for your number.
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Dry



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PostSubject: Re: how do i get a life   how do i get a life EmptyFri Nov 08, 2013 5:58 am

Oh yeah, if you want excuses for your close friends just be like, "btw I just realised I don't actually have your number, can I have your number". Also any time you're involved in some sort of project or club or trip or anything at all, just be like "hey just in case we get split up or need something in an emergency or something, can I have your number".
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madam im adam
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PostSubject: Re: how do i get a life   how do i get a life EmptyFri Nov 08, 2013 2:28 pm

Dry wrote:
Me personally, I used to be incredibly shy, and hated being in a crowd while secretly yearning to be a part of them.
this was basically me
but this is such good advice wow thankies : )
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Slissith

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PostSubject: Re: how do i get a life   how do i get a life EmptySat Nov 09, 2013 3:32 pm

Dry definetely has a point and, specifically, when it comes to confidence, developing it is all about making the decision. I am positive that by trying to be more confident, you shall gradually do so. This is what more or less happened with me. I made the decision!

I also used to be quite shy, and even in later years when I would be quite extroverted, I would feel alone because I was more or less incompatible with the majority of the people around me. I had only 1 good friend, "Person A", and then made another, "Person B". The first person went to study in another city and gradually became less involved with me and my life. Even before that, I pursued bonding with the second person.

It was one of the best decisions I had ever made. Said person became literaly my best friend, and greatly became a part of my life, as did I become a part of his life. And then, I met 2 of his friends, both people slighty older and wiser than us. I didn't really have much to do with one of them, but the other one actively got to know me and advise us. So, he became my second friend! Let's call him "Person C".

As you can figure out by now, I had 2 genuine friends! So far so good...

Then, "Person C" met "Person D", who was an even older guy. "Person D" was, among many things, an avid martial arts fan. So, he tutored "Person C" in martial arts and befriended him. But even more so, he tutored him in life in general and helped him improve as a person.

Then, it was our turn. Mine and "Person's B".

Long story short, we now meet up weekly and practice. Beyond that, "Person D" has enhanced our way of thinking and has helped us to "find" ourselves even more. I can definetely see the differences on myself. I think that I am slighty more reserved and strong person. But I still got a long way to go.

The point that I'm trying to make is that, "having a life" can come in a variety of ways. I tend to talk to a lot of people now at the university, but it's quite depressing to consider how meaningless all that communication is. It's sad, really. I guess I still am that weird guy from back then, not much unlike those lonely kids that surf the internet and end up getting involved with a smash fangame, one way or another!

My advice would be to get involved with people much like Dry has suggested. Just try to find someone who touches your inner strings and who you are. Don't stress over it, but do keep it in mind. Also, it would be quite beneficial to find a hobby! Try to devote to yourself to something, regardless of whether that is cycling, drawing, playing music etc. Personally, I would also urge you to read some philosophy!

Regarding the clubs, have you actually tried participating in any?

Anyway, hope I helped!
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madam im adam
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PostSubject: Re: how do i get a life   how do i get a life EmptySun Nov 10, 2013 8:54 am

Slissith wrote:
Personally, I would also urge you to read some philosophy!

Regarding the clubs, have you actually tried participating in any?
i have tried clubs, and they were generally not very enjoyable experiences

and any specific authors? i've been interested in reading philosophy for a while now
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Dry



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PostSubject: Re: how do i get a life   how do i get a life EmptySun Nov 10, 2013 10:29 am

You'd... probably wanna read a textbook or introduction to philosophy first. Most philosophy out there is extremely difficult to grasp, sometimes on purpose. I don't doubt you have the ability to understand it all, but it's not just about ability, there's an aspect of getting used to the whole "language" of philosophy too. Philosophers tend to like being vague.

If you delve into philosophy, though, it's also a great way to link in with your interest in languages. You'd probably get a lot more meaning out of stuff in their original language. So, say, you speak French iirc, you could probably find a copy of Sartre's Being and Nothingness in the original French. Depends on how good your language is though. I've tried reading stuff in its native German, and it may as well just be staring at an alien language. Pretentiousness is not a good combo with a second language.
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Slissith

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PostSubject: Re: how do i get a life   how do i get a life EmptySun Nov 10, 2013 1:35 pm

madam im adam wrote:
Slissith wrote:
Personally, I would also urge you to read some philosophy!

Regarding the clubs, have you actually tried participating in any?
i have tried clubs, and they were generally not very enjoyable experiences

and any specific authors? i've been interested in reading philosophy for a while now
Besides what Dry said, I'd urge you to read some Socrates. Great stuff. Especially the dialogue on love ("Phaedrus").

Then there's Niche, of course. But you can also involve yourself with literature in general. You can read some Brecht, Plutarch (if you are into language stuff), Jack London, Jules Verne (I loved "Sphinx of the Ice Fields") or some Edward Allan Poe.

Other, less known authors include Steven Pressfield and his well written historical novels, Howard Phillips Lovecraft (Supernatural horror with a heavy dose of insanity)who had inspired "Racing Pie" back in the day, Steven King, Walter Scott ("Ivanhoe"), H. G. Wells ("Time Machine"), Arthur Clarke (Well thought out science fiction) and Phillip K. Dick (Again, science fiction, but focused in society).
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